Rants I'd like to get off my chest!

Well, I haven't written for a while, lot going on. Now I have the time to get some rants off my chest.
 First, the legal system in the United States isn't broken. It works fine. The appearance of malfunction comes from the incompetence of the lawyers using the system. The expectations of convictions on flimsy, circumstantial evidence is always a crapshoot. The practice of having only one or two possible  choices to convict also backfires often. Be assured though, as I have written before, no one escapes Karma. Sooner or later everyone pays the price. It may take years and go unnoticed but it does strike justice.

I have experienced, first hand , in my life that when couples have relationship problems the same thing happens. One of the parties will buy new clothes, fix a great dinner, buy tickets for an event, lose weight or try to change something physical. Oblivious to what is really going on. The reason couples argue, disagree and eventually split up is because of the inner person. The person has to change from within. This of course takes an honest step back to examine what one is really like. Extremely difficult this can be. Unless is done and a change in one's inner self occurs no harmony will ever be acheived.

I wish I had the knowledge I have now forty years ago. I was like everyone else. I thought I knew a lot. When I taught, coached, was a parent, I thought I was pretty knowledgable. Turns out I knew practically nothing compared to today. Man what a difference it would have made in my life. I think that's why I still teach and coach so that all of this great stuff I've learned doesn't go to waste and maybe I can pass it on to someone else.

Regrets I have a few. I regret all the time lost having hard feeelings with friends and relatives. I regret not having moved to Florida sooner in my life. I regret no being able to see my kids and grandkids more. But the biggest regret is not having met my wife sooner. These five years have been great and you can't get enough of a good thing.

Catalysts

A catalyst is someone or something that helps an outcome to occur.  Some people play this role better than others. I know in my life that I promote change because I tend to speak up about things I see that I find unfair or things I feel need to be improved. People are catalysts in a variety of ways. They help people deal with situations in their lives, relationships, and jobs. They may drift in, do their part, and drift out again. Others may stay in the relationship having done their job anomalously. In either case the importance of that person is enormous. I have found that losing a job that has been the catalyst for me to pursue a better position.

What I learned from my Father.

Today, Father's day, there was an article in Parade Magazine relating what clebrities had learned from their fathers. I thought I'd share mine. My father started working as toolmaker in a company called Nicholson File. His salary was miniscule. He was married  to Dorothy and had a son Tom. He entered World War II as  an Army private. Shortly afterwards he was captured at the Battle of the Bulge. He spent more than a year in a Nazi prisoner of war camp. When he finally got home he worked for the Post Office for 35 years before retiring. Unfortunately he died two years later from colon cancer. Like many fathers he worked his whole life, had it interrupted and changed by war and tried to live his life as normally as possible. My father worked hard. He wanted to show how far he had come by his possesion of materials things. He bought a house and never finished adding or subtracting something from it. He had Cadillac Eldorado convertibles. He spent months in Miami Beach. From all this I learned that soldiers never talk about war, they keep it inside but never far from the surface. Emotional wounds never heal completely, they scab over ready to be opened. Material things have no feelings and time should be spent with people. No one should retire and not enjoy more than a few years of enjoyment. I hope my kids have learned some positive things from me. Happy Father's Day Dad!

Obstacles

It always seems that just when you feel that you have the world by the gonads, an obstacle appears. Those dreaded obstcales. They come in a variety of sizes and shapes, races and genders, brunettes, blonds, redheads, and bald. Out of nowhere they rear their ugly heads. You work hard to obtain solace. You know what I mean. We want a nice place to work, a nice restaurant to dine in, a nice place to fish, a nice theater to watch a movie. But no! That damn obstcale sees that you're happier than them and then all hell brakes loose. They want your job, they're jealous, they want to make it difficult in the workplace, they're rude and noisy in a restaurant, sorry I fished in that spot yesterday so it's mine, excuse while I explain the whole movie to the person sitting next to me in a loud voice. Just a few of the numerous examples of the stuff we put up with from obstacles. Well obstacles are like the trash on the corner, the mountains that were in the way of the railroad, the annoying mosquito, they are meant to dealt with head on and confronted so they are obstacles to no one anymore.  Good luck with yours. Remember! They will always be around somewhere.

Chance Encounters

Chance encounters are taken for granted by us everyday. We meet people randomly in all sorts of situations and never give them a second thought. Each person provides a unique opportunity to expand the boundaries of of our existence. I never pass up the opportunity to further the realtionship. People are put in our paths for a reason. The people with whom we make eye contact look at us with the same knowledge that we have. We were put in their path for a reason too. It rarely fails that a conversation leads to something beneficial for both of us. When I first came to Florida I knew absolutley no one except for the owner of my house. Fate put people in mylife the very first day and hasn't stopped yet. There are no chance encounters. Only encounters that give you the chance to fufill your lfe. Take advantage of them. They're there for the taking.

My Office!

My office is a cozy place. It is well lit, well ventilated, and small but not too small. It is a place I can go to and get my business done. I often read there and contemplate the day in front of me. Tough decisions are made there. Like any office it is a very busy place. Visitors are always coming by to say hello. Some linger and talk to me, others just poke their head in, say Hi!, look what's going on and then on their merry way. My office is especially busy in the morning. My friends just getting started in their day. It is much quiter in the afternoon, you know siesta time, Five Hour Energy time. Like all offices I have my own clique. Roger, Devin, and Xavier stop by on a regular basis. Seth stops by now and then to say Hi! and grab a quick drink of water. The boy's club, quite a group of friends.  I'm lucky that my cats are my friends and we all like to hang in my office, which also doubles as my bathroom.

Don't Say It!

I like to talk. Sometimes too much. I have learned a few things about talking though. I have become much more careful in my choice of words. Words are indeed much sharper than a knife and inflict irreparable damage. So I talk with a lot more forethought. Words spoken only to hurt or reveal unnecessary things are pointless and self serving. I have learned when to talk. Age has brought me self control. I wait for openings to interject in a conversation. I find it utterly rude and ignorant when someone interrupts another in mid sentence. I only respond to verbiage directed at me. My name is Don, not Joe, Fred or Marco. Others can answer for themselves. When I do say I am going to do something I do follow through. There is nothing worse than having someone tell you they are going to do something, give you something, let you know about something and then fail to do so. Just shows what little esteem they hold for you. Don't say it if you don't mean it. Extremely difficult to do in this PC correctness crazy society we have become. So the lesson is simple, Say It, Do It!

Clouds

I meet and talk to people everyday. I like to look at them and see really what they're like. I like to try and see their clouds.   Everyone has them. They are lurking above our heads. A constant reminder of bothersome deeds and events in our lives. Some people have dissipated a few of them so occasionally the sun shines through. Other people don't deal with them and for them gloom is the name of the game. Not all clouds can be evaporated. These are meant to stay with us forever. They remind us of loved ones and times we try to forget but never will. People will make like there are no clouds and pretend to be sunny and happy. Down deep is where the realization that the clouds are present. I have been successful in eliminating some clouds and I am happier for doing so. Still, my clouds persist and dim my life. It does sadden me that they will probably always be with me. I can only take solace in the fact that I can't control the weather only myself.

How I treated my mother.

I saw this great sitcom the other night on the tube. It was called " How I treated my mother". Cool title. I'm sure you've seen this show. Remember the episode where all the plans get screwed up on Thanksgiving. What a hilarious half hour. No one when dinner is exactly. No one knows why dinner time is so late. No one wants to give in. Turmoil. Hurt feelings. The ending was pretty funny, it was all Ma's fault. Remember the Sunday dinner episodes where Dad did everything to start a fight at dinner. It was so funny when Ma kept on pinching my leg to get me to shut up. That episode ending with Ma getting yelled at for trying to keep the peace. What series would be complete without those wonderful, heart warming Holiday episodes. The confusion of whom to invite if someone else is invited. Laughter when someone's feeling are hurt, especially Ma's.  The other Holiday episode where life was so hectic with the cast that neither cards nor gifts were sent. Belly laughs from the studio audience. The punchline, Ma knew we loved her, we showed her all the time. My favorite is the one where Ma's husband was more affected than Ma. He loved his wife so much and he hurt him to see the way she was treated. I hope you catch this show and I hope is gets renewed for another season.

The Grammys

My wife and I watched the Grammys last night. Categories, categories. There was a diffrent category for every possible genre of music. No one was dared to be left out. I like many types of music, rock, folk, Irish, country, opera, broadway and bluegrass.The color or ethnicity of the singer or group matters not. The quality of the song and how it affects me is what matters. There are songs that after a few notes immediately bring a tear to my eye.  Last night something unigue happened. A country trio named Lady Antebellum snatched all the major awards. They competed in many categories against very stiff competition but won. Their song  "Need you now" was a simple song. A song with lyrics you could understand. A message that crossed across all colors and races. That is why it won. Regardless of the genre a great song stands on it's own. I shun radio stations that play only one type of music. Good music is good music and those who miss out on hearing all types of music are unfortunatley the less for it.

Appreciation

Appreciation. Nice word. It has a few meanings. It means to understand, be grateful and to increase in value. I have some thoughts on this word from the parent's point of view. I appreciate the circumstances of my children. I understand where they live. What they do for an occupation. I know their spouses and children. I would hope they appreciate my life too. The meaning of grateful I think is much misunderstood. It doesn't mean physical renumeration. Parents do things out of love and concern for their children. Payback isn't what we're looking for. A sincere "Thank You' and an appreciation of why we did something is sufficient. Appreciation, though, seems to have a very short memory.  Forgotten are the things done in the past. I, too, am guilty. I used to forget what my parents did for me. Only concerned with the recent months arrivals.  I used to lash out without thinking of all they had done and hurt the ones who loved me. Parenthood, it seems to me, doesn't appreciate. Unfortunately, as the child's and the parent's ages become more distant, so does the appreciation of the relationship. The appreciation turns to devaluation. The parent stills appreciates the relationship but the child caught up in their daily lives, doesn't. A blase approach is taken. Feelings only a parent can appreciate.

Seniority

Sixty two is creeping up on me. Slowly another birthday is arriving. As much as I don't want to admit it, I am a senior citizen. The clincher is that I accept senior discounts here in Florida. I always viewed seniors as old, crabby people who complained about everything. I still think we are crabby complainers  but now I understand why. I grew up in a different era. People haven't changed, just their awareness of manners and respect. I have become even more polite and respectful because I observe such little of it in everyday encounters with people, friends and co workers. What ever happened to "please" and "thank you"? What happened to to saying "excuse me" when walking in front of someone? What happened to opening doors for someone? What happened to responding to phone calls in a timely manner? Some of us remember the way it should be and it makes today's re misses even more glaring. Sure, I know the response. We were never taught or required to do these things. I never blame kids just their parents. I do know people of my generation knew and taught their kids. Somehow along the way the teaching has become relaxed and left along the byway like trash people discard as useless. The old adage is still valid today. "Treat others as you would want to be treated". And that's my Senior Moment!

Songs

YouTube - Cat Stevens - Father and Son Original  YouTube - Nike Basketball CommercialYouTube - Michael Jackson Memorial Service Stevie Wonder  YouTube - Wishing You Were Somehow Here AgainYouTube - garth brooks the river

These songs have moved me, inspired me, taught me and pleased me greatly. Cat Steven's " Father and Son" is the epitome of most people's relationship with their parents. Marvin Gaye's National Anthem shows what a musical genius can do with a simple arrangement and a song. Stevie Wonder's tribute to Michael Jackson is one my favorite songs. No one emotes like Stevie. "Wishing you were" is for everyone who has lost someone, be it a person or a pet. " The River" is a great inspirational song. I had this on my front bulletin board when I taught High School. Hopefully it inspired my students too. Click on the links and enjoy!

Photosynthesis

Photosynthesis is that wonderful chemical process in plants. I swear my blood is green, not red. I believe that I am a plant and not human. When the sun is hidden by clouds and rain my photosynthesis ceases. I am lethargic, sad, lazy and generally good for nothing. A sliver of sunlight and my chemical reaction begins to percolate. The hemoglobin starts to flow and just like a plant I get out of that chair and rise to the sun. Life is wonderful again. Like Kermit it's good to be green.

The Path of Least Resistance

People I think are like electricity. They always seek the path of least resistance. I, myself, used to seek this too. I liked to hear nice, positive things about me. They weren't always true but I hung around with people who said them. It is very difficult to hear we're not perfect. Now I prefer to be with people who will be honest with me and I value their opinions. When electricity meets resistance the first thing that occurs is a heat buildup. I can see some acquaintances getting hot under their collars when a little resistance is put in their paths. Truthful comments elicit a heat buildup in them too. Why does this phenomenon happen? Well I think it's because we all have this image of ourselves. Unfortunately, it is isn't a real image. It is marred with pride, denial, and an inability to hear things about themselves. I have found that I don't know how others see me. What do I really look like to other people. Frightening as it may be I want to know. In the years I have left I want to know what others see me as. I want to change that image if it is no so perfect. Possible? Yes! Easy? No!

Making Up crap

I do believe everything does happen for a reason and people do end up where they belong. Teachers and parents often question the future success of a child. They wonder, sometimes out loud, what could this unmotivated kid end up doing with their lives. My long years of having taught high school proved to me that everyone does find their niche in life. They do get motivated and have great, productive lives. Me, I always seem to find jobs that do fit me well. You see I have that God given gift of making up crap. It has taken many long, hard years to hone this talent. Now it is almost perfected. I have recently started volunteering at the Loggerhead Marine Life Center. We rehab injured sea turtles and then release them back to the ocean. What do I know about turtles? Turtle soup, tortoise and the hare, cool sunglasses. Yeah, not much. So this is perfect. When the guests come in to see the turtles I sometimes act as a docent. Hallelujah! I get to make up crap about the turtles. You can say anything to anyone as long as you make it sound authentic and real. Here I try to stay close to the facts, the few I do know. My wife does have me pegged though. She knows I make up crap all the time. She even sent me a card about it. Pretty funny! I would like to think this is just a sign of getting old like the movie "Big Fish". But no. It's me. I am a crap maker upper and I don't see me stopping.