Paul is Dead

Life is full of curve balls. Just when you think you have someone figured out a whole new person appears. Red Herrings are what they are called in books and movies. People put in our paths simply to throw us off. I've had many Herrings in my life and they all stink. People that I trusted, grew close to, confided in. Someone finally to connect with. I do not have many friends with whom I hang around with. I am sort of a loner. I guess the people with whom I would have liked to been friends with are my family. That didn't work out as planned. Most of my friends from my past have faded into the background of my life. So here we are meeting new people hoping that in a short time we don't say " Wow I didn't see that coming".  We believed that maybe we had found a friend only to be let down again. I know I'll swear off trusting other people for a while. I'll try to be more cautious with my optimism. I mean I even trusted the Beatles. Who would have ever thought that when the Paul is Dead ruse caused such mania , that it too was a fake, with only he and Ringo survivors of the group.

Vegetables

You know when you were a kid there was always a vegetable you hated. I hated artichoke hearts and to this day I can't understand why anyone would eat them. We grow up and now I eat some things I would never have eaten before. Well I'm grownup but I still have some things I hate as much as those artichoke hearts. We all have at least one thing we hate to do. I hate to shave. I won't shave until I have an important reason to. Even then I'll shave as closely as I can to make the shave last as many days as possible. My wife says I hate to wipe my feet on a rug when i come in the house. Ok, maybe that too. She, my wife, seems to hate putting away clothes that are in the clothes basket after washing. Some of my friends hate to deal with car salesmen, attorneys and even their wives. I guess we never really change that much as we age. We just substitute things for artichokes.

Resolution

Resolution is sought in all walks of life. The ability to see things clearly as they really are is of utmost  importance. We need to see without any fuzziness or haze. Cameras, binoculars, televisions, cell phones, satellites and especially our inner eye needs to focused to crystal clarity. When the Hubble telescope's lens was inaccurately ground it's pictures were out of focus. Scientists worked diligently to find a solution. Our inner eye is always looking for resolution. Our many unresolved personal issues scream inside for resolution so we can finally make some sort of peace and reason to the past. Resolution comes in many forms. It may be a chance encounter with a former friend or relative. An article in a newspaper or magazine may bring clarity. It may take years to find resolution but the search never ends. I have found resolution in my life. It wasn't always the view I wanted but it did make me understand things better. Accepting what is seen is essential because as we have all learned, the past is unchangeable.

Never

Never is an often used word in our vocabulary. It has a definition. It has been used for many years. It is only recently that I found that it has no weight, no real meaning at all. It is spoken as an end all word but really means maybe next time. Never doesn't mean not again." I will never", Never violate the ten commandments", "Never do that again" are examples of the use of never that doesn't mean anything. All three have caveats. I will never is an oath always broken, the ten commandments are broken all the time and repentance is granted, never do that again is followed by "but if you do". It takes character and backbone to truly say the word and enforce it. Character and backbone, two other words that have lost their meanings. Parents, teachers, politicians, clergy and friends use the word never without realizing the consequence of not living by the word. Once the word never is invoked and treated as the word maybe there is no respect, no trepidation of consequences. I prefer to use the term "next time". This way there is a warning tag. A promise if you will that something will happen if the same time. Something does happen the next time and we move on.

A Good Day to Die

Seven days of the week, 30 days a month, 12 months a year, 365 days a year. Which day to die on? We all lead busy lives and have plans for the days ahead. We have families, friends, jobs and  things we like to do in our spare time. I like to make plans but I always have a plan B and even a plan C when things fall through. I like to try to make time for everyone. I often put my plans aside to make this time available. I have tried to adopt the philosophy of don't wait to do things, do them now. Opportunities come for a reason and are not to be avoided. Some people never find time for anyone or anything. They tend to confine their time and emotions for a few. Difficult to find a day to entertain someone not in the loop. I look at my calendar on the wall and find, even with a somewhat busy schedule time for everyone and  everything. How would you consult someone like this what day would be best for me to die? Drop plans, appointments, work, simply for a death. They couldn't find time in life why would it be so easy in death?  I will try to accommodate no one but myself when I die. I'll die when it's my time and on my own terms. Regretting nothing because I did make time in life for everyone and everything.

Random Thoughts

Hi! Some random thoughts today that have been juggling around in my head.

If salad is so delicious why can't we eat it without a dressing on it?

Why are some songs only known by their titles? The rest of the lyrics are either too long, too comlicated or totally unrecognizable  from the slurring of them by the singer. Some examples are
Hallejulah, Long Time by Boston, just about any Springsteen song, Lady Madonna by the Beatles, and any song from Dave Matthews.

I often realize that when I look at a child who does not walk or talk yet and is under the complete care of their parents I'm actually looking at how the child will be in their last few years on earth. Now and adult, conditions are the same just the location and the caretaker has changed.

Brining a chicken is salt and sugar for two hours before cooking it is an incredible culinary secret.

 Culinary shows like Kitchen Nightmares, Top Chef and Robert Irvine's Restaurant Impossible have given me a new perspective on dining out. I now feel more empowered to be critical of local cuisine and service. I look for the cleanliness of the restaurant. I am less hesitant to send food back that is below par.  I notice how much of the food has been previously frozen and microwaved.The one blaring criticism of restaurants in South Florida is the crude service we are made to put up with.

Is is just my dog? My wife and I have to spell in front of Alice now because she has a large vocabulary .

 All children with elderly parents should see the film Nebraska. The way all elderly should go out for the last time.

Wow, I feel about three ounces lighter with all that off my chest.

Not just another day

We all know a week has seven days. A month has about 30 days. A year has 365 days. Common knowledge that we all have. I have a calendar on my wall, white board, my computer, and my iPhone. I keep track of my tennis lessons, birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, meetings and trips. Yes, I am a calendarholic. I am obsessed with not missing any important event. Why?  They are my calendar because they are worth remembering. Do they have the same importance? No!! Some are more important not just a reminder. Important why? Some days are special because they are for special people. Birthdays are not to be forgotten. Such a special day it is in a person's life. Anniversaries are important. The marking of the passage of years of a special event is worth remembering. Mother's and Father's days are especially important. These are two days that hold a special place in a perents' heart. No parent no matter how removed from their children ever loses that special love for them.  No parent ever wants to be forsaken on that day. All days are not equal. Some are much more dear and never to be taken lightly. Days cannot be recovered like a lost key. Once gone they are forever gone. Waiting till the next year comes for the same day is a risky proposition. Only the foolhardy would take that bet.

THE EQUALIZER

In my 65 years here on earth I have met all types of people. I've met them all over the world. Young and old, men and women and all races I have known. Many have been truly nice people. People with whom I have spent time socializing and forming friendships. Of course I have met many condescending folk. Many who I think never have had a happy day in their lives. Grumpy and cantankerous is their demeanor everyday. Those who have that snooty attitude. You know, I'm more intelligent than you. I'm in a better societal class than you. I live in a better neighborhood. Well all of these are nice and everyone can have their own little delusional view of their lives. When the equalizer strikes all of that means absolutely nothing. When the equalizer strikes let's see who is begging for someone to help and take care of them. When the equalizer comes in the form of a serious health condition the playing field quickly evens out. Everyone lays on the gurney the same way regardless of any false prestige. False bravado is quickly erased when bad health news arrives. I've been fortunate. I have been healthy with only a few minor problems. I am always aware of the inevitable. I look at my friends and everyday observe  how fragile we are. How easily one can be debilitated. I try never to lose my perspective of who I am and how I treat others. I do know that I too can be visited by the equalizer and you should too.

And that's the way it is!

I thought as I got older I  would get wiser. I don't think I have. I still have that boyish, wide-eyed hope that people will do the right thing and maybe, just maybe they will see the light and change even in the the most mintiest way. People have disappointed me. I have even disappointed myself many times. The one small difference is that I have had introspection. I have drawn lines. I think I do know what is right and wrong. Don't get me wrong, I'm far from perfect. I have my childish outbursts. The red lights that you notice when you first meet someone don't turn to green too often. Sometimes they don't even border on amber. They stay red. Yes, first impressions do mean a lot. I have had the good fortune to work and play in large groups. The grumpy, mean spirited members never failed to portray their real personalities. It wasn't until someone had the gumption to call them out and confront them they relented for a while. Only for a while because these people don't change. Can't change. Because they are convinced they are right and the hell with everyone else. So it is with neighbors, relatives, and  co workers.  Regardless of their realization that the red lights are flashing brightly they will defend and stand by each other. What do I do now?  Nothing! I steer clear of these malcontents. Stay to myself. Enjoy life with my wife and pets. Nothing I do will ever change a thing. I have tried and now I am wiser. Why? Because that's the way it is!

Pet Pain

Pets are a unique part of the family. I have always had some sort or pet. I have had dogs, rabbits, cats and grasshoppers. Even from an early age I had a hard time dealing with the loss of a pet. I am at the stage of my life where I have lost my grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and best friends. I haven't lost a sibling nor a child yet. Those losses would seem to be especially hard hitting. But even those I think are incomparable to the loss of a beloved pet. I have spoken with many people on this topic and most agree the hurt is indeed deep. A hurt that doesn't subside with time. The mere mention or thought of a pet lost is cause for a tear to be shed. Kids stay close to their parents side for a few years and gain their independence as well they should. Pets stay by our side all the time they are in our care. Many have relationships with their pets far longer than their marriages and much happier ones too. Could it be the unconditional devotion a pet brings to an owner? Is it that never a discouraging word is heard from a pet? Is it the meow from a cat or the guttural moan from a dog that gives the owner the sense that all they have done to make their pet's life as safe and comfortable it could be is somehow really appreciated. I have grieved for friends and relatives and time has lessened the hurt. Time has never eased for me the pain of losing the pet I loved. In "Of mice and men" there is the line that a man should always be the one to put down their own dog. A task that no one looks forward to but one that gives us the opportunity we rarely get in life. The chance to say good bye at the final moment and be with the pet or person you loved.