Decisions of an Aging Man

Now is the time in my life and my friends' lives that come the real tough decisions of aging men and women. Not which pair of skinny jeans to wear, beard or goatee, Vegan or Sushi but real decisions that have to be made and many take all of our life's experiences to make. One of the first to be made is do we really want to go through more medical tests. We have been probed, poked and tested to death. Sure a new discovery brings anxiety but also trepidation. So maybe I'll wait and see this time. I have been spared this dilemma but dread the day it comes. Some of us are finishing careers and wonder what to do next. My wife and I always know something will always come our way. You just have to be open and willing to try something new. I know change is really tough but easier than the alternative. Those of us who have kids worry about them but most are young enough to take care of themselves. It's our beloved pets that many look ahead to make sure they are well  cared for. My will, insurance, and any thing that has been coveted  by my heirs will not be forgotten when we're gone but our poochies will be. I'm lucky to have a loving wife and I know she has made these decisions much easier for me. Every one should be so lucky.

Hey Stranger!

Hey Stranger! Haven't heard from you in a while. Well I've been busy with a new house, a new truck, and new problems. But I'm back! I haven't stopped thinking about things just no time to sit and expound. Let me start with apologizing to my father and every other World War II Vet. I didn't understand why he acted the way he did at home. It was because of my ignorance. No one knew about PTSD. Knowing about it now and it's effects explains a lot. It makes me sad to think of how all those men could have been helped but weren't.
 Today is Thanksgiving and I do have a lot to be thankful for. First of all, my wife Lea. The person who has kept me healthy, happy and I would like to say sane but I know differently. I will always look at things from a different perspective than others and that is good. We have a good life with a slew of pets and a few good friends.
 What would a blog be without a few rants. Gee I miss these rants.
People should never give advice if they aren't willing to take some.
Politicians don't need six debates. Just more opportunities to say something stupid.
Fargo is the show on TV.
I would never do something I suck at.
I know that the man I am today took 66 years to develop.
How come some people never grow?
The old saying is true. Once someone starts to verbalize their displeasure about something or someone the truth comes out and the road to separation is on it's way.
Parents have lost the will to discipline children.
Not every kid deserves an award. People lose but are the better for having lost and then later won.
People easily forget the little things other people do for them.
Debts unpaid are never forgotten.
I still would rather talk to someone on the phone than in a freaking text or email. Let me hear that voice and get things done in one call.
I have heard the stupidest questions about inviting people for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Common sense is passé. I would rather hurt some one's feeling than ruin every body's else occasion.
Sorry it took so long to get back. Won't be that long again.

I Wonder

Haven't written for a while. Lots going on.  Busy playing and managing softball. But enough excuses.  I have been wondering about a few things and I need to set them to paper( okay, I'm old and old school)! I wonder why poeple as they get older don't change. I hope that as I've aged I have learned a few things about life and myself. I know I have changed.  Some people I know are still the same bad mannered, selfish, lack of fortitude masses of flesh they were in youger years. I wonder why kids can't stay like puppies. Puppies grow up and never lose their affection and love for the people who love them. Some kids grow up like they never had a parent. I wonder if when we have falling outs with our relatives and end up estranged and not communicating, are we really doing them a favor. They didn't want to stay close, they rarely called, rarely wanted to be in our company. I wonder if they are much happier now that they don't have to deal with us anymore. Don't worry anymore about having to remember birthdays, invitations, meaningless cards and phone calls simply to appease us. I wonder why people who have Faith need to reminded of their faith constantly as if they were going to forget about it. I wonder if pastors use Christain Mingle to find their wives and girlfriends. I wonder why Priests and Nuns have to have lay jobs. I wonder why their vocations weren't more fulfilling and time consuming. I wonder why I put all this down today on a virtual piece of paper.

Paul is Dead

Life is full of curve balls. Just when you think you have someone figured out a whole new person appears. Red Herrings are what they are called in books and movies. People put in our paths simply to throw us off. I've had many Herrings in my life and they all stink. People that I trusted, grew close to, confided in. Someone finally to connect with. I do not have many friends with whom I hang around with. I am sort of a loner. I guess the people with whom I would have liked to been friends with are my family. That didn't work out as planned. Most of my friends from my past have faded into the background of my life. So here we are meeting new people hoping that in a short time we don't say " Wow I didn't see that coming".  We believed that maybe we had found a friend only to be let down again. I know I'll swear off trusting other people for a while. I'll try to be more cautious with my optimism. I mean I even trusted the Beatles. Who would have ever thought that when the Paul is Dead ruse caused such mania , that it too was a fake, with only he and Ringo survivors of the group.

Vegetables

You know when you were a kid there was always a vegetable you hated. I hated artichoke hearts and to this day I can't understand why anyone would eat them. We grow up and now I eat some things I would never have eaten before. Well I'm grownup but I still have some things I hate as much as those artichoke hearts. We all have at least one thing we hate to do. I hate to shave. I won't shave until I have an important reason to. Even then I'll shave as closely as I can to make the shave last as many days as possible. My wife says I hate to wipe my feet on a rug when i come in the house. Ok, maybe that too. She, my wife, seems to hate putting away clothes that are in the clothes basket after washing. Some of my friends hate to deal with car salesmen, attorneys and even their wives. I guess we never really change that much as we age. We just substitute things for artichokes.

Resolution

Resolution is sought in all walks of life. The ability to see things clearly as they really are is of utmost  importance. We need to see without any fuzziness or haze. Cameras, binoculars, televisions, cell phones, satellites and especially our inner eye needs to focused to crystal clarity. When the Hubble telescope's lens was inaccurately ground it's pictures were out of focus. Scientists worked diligently to find a solution. Our inner eye is always looking for resolution. Our many unresolved personal issues scream inside for resolution so we can finally make some sort of peace and reason to the past. Resolution comes in many forms. It may be a chance encounter with a former friend or relative. An article in a newspaper or magazine may bring clarity. It may take years to find resolution but the search never ends. I have found resolution in my life. It wasn't always the view I wanted but it did make me understand things better. Accepting what is seen is essential because as we have all learned, the past is unchangeable.

Never

Never is an often used word in our vocabulary. It has a definition. It has been used for many years. It is only recently that I found that it has no weight, no real meaning at all. It is spoken as an end all word but really means maybe next time. Never doesn't mean not again." I will never", Never violate the ten commandments", "Never do that again" are examples of the use of never that doesn't mean anything. All three have caveats. I will never is an oath always broken, the ten commandments are broken all the time and repentance is granted, never do that again is followed by "but if you do". It takes character and backbone to truly say the word and enforce it. Character and backbone, two other words that have lost their meanings. Parents, teachers, politicians, clergy and friends use the word never without realizing the consequence of not living by the word. Once the word never is invoked and treated as the word maybe there is no respect, no trepidation of consequences. I prefer to use the term "next time". This way there is a warning tag. A promise if you will that something will happen if the same time. Something does happen the next time and we move on.