Women, Fathers, and Kitchens

Today I am going to discuss one of the many interesting correlations I have found throughout my life. I find these to be pretty concrete observations. At least to me and maybe after some reflection on your part, you will concur.

People like to share their thoughts and problems with others. Friends, strangers, neighbors, it doesn't seem to matter. If there is an ear willing to listen, people will speak to that ear. What is said are usually things that are bothering an individual. They need to verbally get it off their chests and out into the world. Hopefully it will bounce off someone and they will get an opinion or just comments from someone.

I have made an effort, as I've aged, to restrict this type of behavior. But I am guilty of this because I do have unresolved issues that always spew out even if I conscientiously try to contain them.

Which brings me to Women, Fathers, and Kitchens. This phenomenon crosses all ages and countries. When I have been invited to a woman's house, I am given a tour of the house or apartment. I have noticed that the kitchen is unused or in need of repair. Conversation ensues and the topics usually lead to a revealing about families and the relationships within. These women talked about unresolved issues and it almost related to a bad or estranged relationship with their fathers. Further in conversation came the revelation about not being able to find the right man or keep any relationship flourishing. Coincidence, I think not.

I think that fathers play such a enormous role in their daughter's lives. I know daughters who have gone to extraordinary measures just to keep the slightest lifeline open to their fathers. An unresolved relationship with a father puts a damper on relating to any man. Some may not to admit it but the kitchen, Father, and relationships are forever linked.

My daughter rarely uses her kitchen, now has a null relationship with me and I hope that her relationship with her husband stays strong for the sake of their child. Time will tell.

Parents, in general, are a strange breed. When we live them there is usually conflict. Why because parents forget that they were young once and did exactly the same things their kids do. Some are close with their parents, others no. I was not. My parents worked hard but had one fatal flaw. They never kept promises. This frustrated me to no end. Nothing is worse than working your butt off for some reward and reaping nothing.

Regardless of your relationship with your parents, John Donne was right, Everyones' death diminishes me. Especially a parent's. Nothing brings your humanity, like a brick, to you. A significant part of you is gone and can never be replaced. And I mourned for my parents, flaws and all.

Which brings me to my wife. When I met her and first visited her house, eureka, a woman who used her kitchen. Hey, potential here. Naturally, our conversations got around to family and incredibly she had a close relationship with her dad. Happy or not she did sustain a marriage for 20 years. This beauty was a keeper. The only question! Would she keep me?